Reflections From Portland

Every day, I learn how important it is to take care of myself.  

It’s more than doing the fun activities.

How we think, feel, and act during those activities determines the level of self-care.

Pushing yourself past the point of exhaustion is not self-care.

Thinking/evaluating past interactions or the future of what still has to be done during pleasurable moments is also not self-care.

I learn that more every single day.

Running a business has been a roller coaster of emotions and learning to deal with everything that has not been healed.

Many lessons have been and will be learned, which is a crucial part of life’s experience.

Keeping yourself up with caffeine consistently and ending the night with a drink (even one) can have drastic ramifications.

It’s not dealing with the real underlying issue.

When we run away from dealing with our bullshit, it affects our mind, body, and spirit.

That has been one of the biggest life lessons.

All of life’s preconditioning from childhood is such a lie.

As a child, I learned that I was not worthy or good enough for true, unconditional love while growing up in a dysfunctional family.

I felt that I had to fight and do things that made me feel uncomfortable for love.

I would never speak about this to anyone because of all the shame I felt for doing these various activities.

Friends would exclude me from various activities throughout my life all throughout out high school

As a result, I end up overcompensating myself by giving my full self to people who continue to validate that belief.

I turn to (legal) drugs like caffeine and alcohol to numb me from feeling the pain I believed for decades.

I feel exhausted, constantly burnt out, and wondering why I’m not getting to the next level because of it.

These are not the people meant to be in my life and I do not need to fight for people’s love.

When I meet people where it happens naturally without having to push for it, magic happens.

I get to heal my past wounds a, forgive myself for any negative beliefs I picked up, and the people who taught me them.

I can be myself no matter what happens and I don’t feel judged.

They are by my side through everything no matter what.

I am learning the true meaning of unconditional love.

When this happens, the pressure feels off.

I can relax and truly enjoy each moment while focusing on gratitude.

It’s a very healing experience to know that I no longer have to fight for love.

I am loved simply by existing.

I can see myself for the first time.

I don’t have to seek approval of people, even my blood family.

It feels freeing to know that.

I want to take this moment to truly appreciate myself for all I have done to get to this moment and all of the new friends, mentors, etc. that I have picked up as a result of going on this journey.

Each day is a gift of magic and we roll through any experience that comes our way.

I appreciate being on this planet to learn how to be my true self.

These moments allow me to uncover what I am truly meant to do on this planet.

I get to teach on all of my experiences up to now as I continue to heal.

I am more than good enough to have all of my desires in life.

I get to teach anyone I interact with that they are too!

I’m excited to see where life continues to take me on this wonderful journey and I will continue to be grateful for every moment I get to experience on planet Earth.

 

Portland Friends