Lost in the Crowd

Into the Bass Portal, I go as a lone soul delving into the depths of the unknown.

Feeling lost in a warehouse full of 15k+ people.

I had a plan on how both nights would look before entering.

Desperately wanting that to happen I held onto it tightly.

Within 10 minutes after I got past security on night 1, I lost my entire crew, but one loyal friend who remained.

Seriously, I had no idea how easy it was to lose people in there. 

My initial knee-jerk reaction was panic and search for my crew.

Searching in the crowd, I so badly wanted to see Bassnectar with everyone.

Finally, Bassnectar comes on and I'm feeling devastated.

3....2....1....Blast Off!

The first song comes on and my mind is spiraling down a rabbit hole. 

Feelings of loneliness and abandonment resurfaced from childhood.

I was feeling unworthy, unloved, and full of shame from losing my friends.

I had never felt more lost and alone in a crowd of 15k+ people.

I looked behind me at my friend standing next to me in his own world fully immersed in the music.

Suddenly, a higher voice came through me.

"Rachel, you don't need to use your friends as a source. You can have a magical night no matter what!"

Another thought came through...

"You are not alone and unloved. There are 15k+ people sharing and enjoying this experience with you!"

Even though my friends weren't physically next to me, I know they still love me. 

I instantly felt relief.

It had nothing to do with me why I lost my friends in the crowd.

I was able to forgive the situation at that moment.

I put both hands on my heart and took a gander around the room.

So many eyes full of love.

I am loved, accepted, and worthy of being there.

The old me would have left feeling salty and resentful.

I used this as an opportunity to surrender my plans and allow the rest of the weekend to unfold as it needs to.

My heart felt full and a smile was instantly glued to my face.

It could not be removed for the rest of the weekend.

I became fully immersed in the music.

So much love and lights in the air.

My thoughts dissolved to the nectar Gods.

The music took me away.

I became a source of my own happiness.

Two hours felt like years. I could stay forever lost in the music. danced,

I danced,  laughed, cried, and I could FEEL!

It was such a healing and awakening experience.

The lights came back on. I hugged my friend standing next to me and said: "Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and staying with me the entire time."

I left that set remembering it as one of the best sets I had ever seen (that was my 12th set)

I feel like I lost and found myself in a span of a few hours.

I felt elevated and uplifted.

Most of all, I was stepping into the version of myself I truly want to be.

I reunited with my crew to share the experiences at the hotel.

For the first time, I felt like I truly loved and accepted myself.

The rest of the weekend was full of magical experiences in and out of the sets.

Love and light were reflected back to me.

It felt amazing being able to be myself and be fully accepted for it.

Bass heads are some of the most wonderful people I have ever met.

I dove in head first on NYE when I went to my first show single. 

It has brought me faith in a beacon of darkness.

Every soul has something magical to offer and welcomed me with open arms.

It's a deep, heartfelt understanding that these souls possess.

I wouldn't have wanted to spend my weekend any other way.

I'm forever grateful to be able to attend these shows while welcoming old and new friends to my hometown.

I will never forget what I learned from the weekend:

  • Don't try to plan things at shows and festivals. It never works...
  • Let things happen... Surrender all plans and hold the faith no matter what.
  • I am my own source of love and happiness.
  • I deeply love and accept myself.
  • People want to hear about my gifts and talents I have to share with the world.
  • This is my time to go BIG!
  • There are loving people 
  • There are loving people out there, even if you haven't seen it yet
  • I can fit 8 people in my Ford Focus.
  • Trust what is happening in the moment. It's happening for you for a reason.
  • I am not alone. It is safe to get lost in the crowd and highly encouraged.
  • These lessons translate into all areas of my life. 
  • It is safe to let my guard down.
  • Taking time for yourself is essential for creating the life of your dreams.
  • I release the need to try hard to fit in because I already to bit being me
  • People that are not aligned with the new me will continue to fall off my radar and I am okay with it.

Bassnectar is life. I love what he stands for. I have gotten deeply immersed since Bass Center in 2017.

These shows feel like reunions and I want to enjoy as many as I can. I love all the people I meet every time I attend an event or music festival.

They make me feel lit up and full of joy!

If I keep this up, I'll be at 20 sets by Bass Center!

For now, I'll allow myself to keep reminiscing about this weekend while I patiently await the next gathering.

It's not a goodbye, it's a see you soon!

Until Freestyle, my friends!


Bass Fam