Am I a Fraud? Part 2

I’ve gone about starting my business all wrong!

When I decided I wanted to be an entrepreneur in 7th grade, I thought about how much money I could earn, go travel, and be financially free, while making a huge impact on the world.

Growing up, I had this idea that everything had to be perfectly planned and executed to their standards in order to receive love from my family.

These ideas have been passed down for generations.

Every time I didn’t perform to my parents’ expectations, I would be punished and shamed.

It feels like I have been treated like a dog.

I would be punished and shamed.

Therefore, I formed this crazy limiting belief that I had to get permission for my desires.

If my parents said no, that was it. It was a hard no.

If I questioned it, I would be denied and further punished

I had to do whatever people wanted before I could do what I wanted.

I would push, force, and control my emotions in order to avoid a reaction from my parents.

I would feel massive resentment every time they did and feel shitty about myself.

Little did I know, these ideas crept into my coaching business.

When I first started Redefining All Diets, I thought:

“Who am I to teach about diet and exercise if I’m not perfect?”

I didn’t feel like I was worthy of teaching anything else because I am still in the process of perfecting my ideal lifestyle.

When I did any of my launches over the past year, they came from a place of lack.

As you can imagine, all of my launches flopped.

I felt like I failure who should go back to a j.o.b.

I launched all my courses to feel like I’m enough and people would work with me at a lower rate.

I didn’t feel like I could get people to join my higher end offers, so I created these.

Behind the scenes, I would only post what I thought other people wanted to hear.

In my mind, I wanted everyone to think I was good enough to teach by portraying myself as this perfect, innocent soul so people would work with me.

I was afraid to go live because I would be exposed for my imperfections.

I hid them and numbed my emotions with marijuana.

I was restricting my diet to eat gluten and dairy-free because I was so fucking sick from trying to be perfect, that my body couldn’t handle eating gluten or dairy.

I was rejecting myself and my body was rejecting food.

I would work all day and night to the point where it cost me my friendships and a relationship.

I was emotionally unavailable for clients.

I was burnt out from shitty sleep and working without pay.

I would judge myself for not being perfect and it was reflected onto my potential clients.

I had unreasonable expectations that can’t ever be met.

I was underweight, exhausted, and unhealthy while promoting the value of good health.

Holy shit balls!

I’ve been passing down generational bull shit instead of making a real impact.

No wonder why I have had massive resentments and results less than idea.

The truth is, I am far from perfect.

My life is a [organized] mess, I’ve taken on 30k in credit card debt, and my diet is not perfect.

And guess what?! This doesn’t make me any less worthy.

If anything, it makes me more worthy because I am always a work in progress.

Therefore, people want to work with me right now.

Who am I NOT to teach from where I’m at right now?

I am doing a MASSIVE disservice by expecting myself and others to be perfect.

What truly matters is that I am working on myself every single day to become better than I was yesterday without fail.

I have the tools to help others do the same for themselves with everything I know right now.

I no longer restrict my diet, so I am open to teaching on anything diet related aside from gluten/dairy free (although I still feel better eating less of both).

I binge way less and I enjoy Ben & Jerry’s on occasion.

I’ve put on 15 healthy lbs this year and I love my body more than ever!

Most of all, I have been learning to put myself first so I have the emotional capacity to create an impact at a higher level.

I am fulfilled and my heart is full of love.

If this resonates with you, I give you full permission to love yourself and put your needs first.

You are so fucking worthy of living your idea lifestyle and I’m excited to continue taking you on my journey to a healthier/happier life with me!

 

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